Sady: “The Golden Ass? Wow. What is that?”
Crystal: “A book I’m reading for classical lit. It has become one of my many adventures.
Sady: And this one? The one with a naked chick? Is that another adventure?
Crystal: Ha ha. Oh yes. Tell ya what, instead of getting conned into doing dishes, lets make a
B-line for the county line, and I’ll get into details.
Sady: Ooo ooo. Ha. Lets move then!
Sady: So wait, is this gonna be retarded? I mean the walk was a good idea, but am “I” going to like it? I don’t even like to read.
Crystal: Well, I had a professor who told me if you have sex, challenge, and profanity in an opening as a writer, you’ve usually got the reader hooked. I’ve got all of the above.
Sady: Ha ha. Ok.
Crystal: We’ll start with one of the first fart jokes ever written down since our family seems to be full of fun little pranksters that so freely blow air. And then I’ll tell you about the Trojan Women which is sad, Lysistrata, the naked chick book, and a little bit about Ovid and metamorphoses.
I’ve uncovered a pretty sweet discovery from these. While shit may fall from the sky and smack ya right on the head, its easier to welcome it with open arms. Take note, this has literally happened to me twice!
So, the first fart joke comes from the Homeric Hymns. The story of Hermes the trickster or a version of Stewie from the Family Guy.
Apollo was speaking to Hermes when he was a baby:
Among immortals, you will have this honor:
To be forever known as king of robbers
Phoebus Apollo spoke and grabbed the baby.
Hand-hoisted now, the might Angus-Killer
Pondered his options first, then shot an omen,
A reckless message from a hard-worked belly.
Right after this he gave a sneeze.
Hermes is with us all. Sometimes a help, sometimes a swindler of the mortal trives of humans.
Sady: haha. Hey sis, you want an omen?
Crystal: Ew! Yeah you better run! Haha. See its not boring. In fact, I’ve also learned that “no thing is boring. There are just boring people.” If you don’t believe me, try to see everything as not boring and easier than ya think.
Sady: That’s interesting.
Crystal: Ok. So in the Trojan Women, all the men from Troy died and their women became concubines, or sex slaves. Their sons, no matter the age were also killed. This story of a woman having to give her child to a soldier to be killed was intense. It was a bit melodramatic but very tragic. Could you imagine handing over your 8 year son to be murdered? Well in the scene that we read and saw she has a very ramatic yell of agony…like this…We call it cartharsis, cleansing ourselves of pity, just kind of letting it in and then out. So kinda just accepting bad things happen, sometimes its tragic, but it is part of the “circle of life.”
Sady: Ha ha, nice Lion King reference there.
Crystal: Hey whatever is past possesses the present.
Sady: huh…Ok. So lets hear about this naked chick ay.
Crystal: Alright. So these greek women’s country (good English I know haha) were at war. And they were sick of not having their men around. So they created a pact or an oath promising to not consent to sex with their lovers, husbands, whoever until they ended the war. It was Lysistrata’s idea so she was just fine with having no sex, the others took the oath sorrowfully.
Sady: HAHA! That is great!!
Crystal: And it worked, as the men soon had some major hard-ons and were utterly miserable.
Sady: PUH! Ha ha!
Crystal: Now in reality, this would not have flew. The women in this time had no power, no right, weren’t allowed to contribute to society, and in fact weren’t even wanted except to make babies. So this story was written as a comedy to sorta make fun of the phallocentric view.
Sady: Which is?
Crystal: The viewpoint in which the world is led, by all things related to the male reproductive system, in other words a dominant male viewpoint that rules society. They were going against the rules of society. And there’s all kinds of fun literary stuff in it that you probably wouldn’t be interested in.
Sady: uhm no.
Crystal: ok moving on to the metamorphoses. Ovid wrote a ton of stories with his characters all changing into something. And I’ll have you read a short one. But instead of dying in their conflict, or as punishment by the jealous gods, they are changed into something, sometimes a rock, sometimes a swan, sometimes a tree. But the point there, is metampsychosis: the transmigration of souls. In another book called The Imaginary Life, the author wrote about Ovid’s unknown life in exile. From this book and all of Ovid’s stories, I learned to let the universe in and that nothing dies, everything changes and something else lives. So with all the crap in the family, and the constant losing and changing of significant people in my life, I am learning to go with the flow. I am working towards just experiencing everything as it comes. As David Malouf said in Imaginary Life, “I must drive out my old self and let the univers in….the spirit of things will migrate back into us….Only then will we have some vision of our true body as men.” So instead of hiding my quirks or giving into societal conformity and separating ourselves from nature and each other, I figure the ride will be way more interesting experiencing everything.
(LAST FRIDAY NIGHT I CALLED HER TO READ THIS TO HER. THIS IS THE ENDING THAT I GOT FROM HER RESPONSE)
Crystal: So anywho, I think school and home will be a little easier for ya if you try to find something to learn from, in fact, tell me Sady, what did you learn from school today? haha.
Sady: Ha...ummmmm....I learned to pass time in school.
Crystal: haha ok, how?
Sady: Slept. ha ha ha!
Crystal: Ha ha, oh good grief.
Sady: Nah, well only one class...and then i talked a lot in another class.
Crystal: Puh ha ha.
Sady: But i got points taken away in culinary class for it...and then i stole a brownie!
Crystal: Ha ha oh sady you're amazing!
Sady: Ha yep! I just go with the flow let the grown ups jabber go right in one ear and out the other...Can i read the naked chick book?
(some Golden Ass blogs should be up in the next few days, :/ late i know)